A Desperate Flight

I run, the world around me blurs. Colors dim around me and flash by, and I notice not a single detail. My eyes are focused on the wispy tendrils of light flying quickly further away from me. I push, I give every inch of energy I have. I grasp at every ounce of willpower within my aching body to push myself forward, hand out stretched, my fingertips brush the wisps, and my body fills with warmth. It spurs me on, I run harder, finally, I have it fully within my grasp. I wrap my fingers tightly around the strips of light, determined to hold on tight this time. But as my eyes are locked on the whisps in my hands, my feet slip out from beneath me, the tendrils in my hand hold me there for a moment, suspended. 

I imagine the moment from the outside, time slowed. My feet lifting from the ground as my back falls toward the ground, time so slow my body almost floats there in the air, my hair billowing out behind me, my hand gripped tight on the beautiful warmth, the emotion ive been chasing after. It would be a beautiful painting, this moment, frozen in time, seconds before heartbreak. But I am not times master, and the moment ends, the tether grasped in my hand severs from the rest of it, and my body slams down to the ground. My momentum causes me to crash, and my body bounces along the ground until I land, a crumpled heap. 

I barely feel the pain, my mind too focused on aligning my eyes with that sweet light again, but the distance between us is too great, and it's becoming hard to see. The darkness begins to surround again, as the light flies quickly further away, until finally it's gone. Desperately, I searched the ground for the tendril that was in my hand. My heart bursts with relief as I find the glowing strand at my feet. I tenderly pick it up and gaze at its shimmering beauty. My relief does not last, as the glow begins to fade, and the once golden and shimmering strand begins to fade to a dull grey. Tears fill my eyes, and I begin to weep. A tear rolls down my cheek and falls from my chin. The tear falls, landing with an imperceptible sound onto the gray strand in my shaking hands. The moment the tear touches the dead strand, it crumples into ash in my hands. 

A wind flies past me, perhaps it too chases the light. It blows the ashes into the air, leaving my hands empty; only a dull grey soot faintly remains, adding further smudges of grey to my stained skin. I crumple to the ground, my hair shrouding my face and hiding the darkness from me. I spend an eternity here, in this grief, pain, trauma, heartache, before I hear the sound of wispy movement, and a glow begins to peak from behind my strands of hair. I dare to let myself hope again, and lift my head, turning to and fro, searching for the light. My eyes lock onto the wispy tendrils of happiness, flying quickly around me, close then far. At first, my body fails to move, too tired from the last time, but the wisp knows how to get just close enough to spur me to move. I bring myself shakily, slowly, to my feet. Shuffling nearly imperceptibly toward the light. The light gets close, and for a moment hovers before my barely moving body. I reach out my hand, my fingertips touching ever so slightly to the light. The intoxicating warmth fills me once again, and I rush forward in the same moment the light flies forward, away from me. And again, we dance, me a desperate soul, in need of the addicting feeling this light brings, and the light, Happiness, ever evading my aching heart. 

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Happiness is a fleeting and finicky human emotion that oftentimes evades us. Happiness is dependent on circumstances and fades at the slightest of hurts or inconveniences. Like most things, this is something that our human nature has diluted, changed,  and tarnished. The typical human emotion version of Happiness that you encounter in the world is rooted in circumstances. We can only be happy if our life pans out “correctly” the way that we would have it. But if it rains, or snows, if your partner forgets something important to you, if any worldly comfort is taken away, if our health fails, if we miss the promotion, if we are late to work, our fleeting happiness fades, and we are left with a grumbling spirit. Even further, if you have trauma, PTSD, depression, or other mental health issues, that happiness can be stolen from you intensely and in a moment. Whatever the reason, it is incredibly easy to destroy our fickle emotion of happiness.

I humbly suggest to you another way. We are fallen people; sin pollutes our actions, minds, and world. But a plan was set in motion before time itself, a plan for salvation, reconciliation, and adoption. God, the creator of the universe, the almighty, outside of time and our perception of space, set forth a plan to save you. God sent His son to this earth, to live a perfect life, without blemish or sin, to walk among us, to encounter the things you and I fall to every single day, but to walk away from those things without fault. To be hated and scorned by many, to be beaten and shamed, but still he knowingly sacrificed himself for us. He died for our sins, the spotless lamb, so that we could be reconciled with God. Through Christ's sacrifice, with His blood, we can be wiped clean. Salvation is through Christ alone. And through Christ, we can be not only saved, but have reconciliation with God, we can be adopted as God’s children, we can cry out to our father in heaven and rest in His arms. Find your happiness and joy in Christ. Build your life on the cornerstone, the solid foundation. If the roots of your happiness and joy are planted in Christ, no circumstance will be able to steal that from you. 

“31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
    we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”[j]

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”    Romans 8:31-39